Ashley fragt:

Hi! I've been running away from a possible calling to religious life for quite some time, and finally God's graces have helped me honestly open up to it. (Woo hoo! Peace at last! Praise God!) Being human and all, I question how much to trust my emotions throughout this entire discernment process, which is surely far from over.  

For the past month or so (until about a week ago), my dating relationship with a good, holy friend became sorta strained. We prayed over what to do (knowing that I've not yet discerned my vocation), and it became apparent that Jen needs time & space to focus on Christ in order to listen to where He wants to lead her... Sooo, I've discovered that it's truly amazing how freeing it is to surrender oneself to God, and also puzzling that I've been running away from this peace for so long!! (Why??!)  

Upon objective reflection on myself & my personality, I've concluded so far that I fit religious life pretty well (or it fits me, or however that works). I get all excited when I think about bringing people to Christ/bringing Him to others (although I've been enthusiastic about this for a long time) and want to do this full time, regardless of my vocation. When I think of being forever separated from my aforementioned friend, I get all worked up again [emotional roller coaster!], but I'm learning to go to Jesus with it and ask Mary for help, too. Besides, I want to give Jesus a fair chance at my heart.  

Ok, in addition to the emotional moments I just wrote about, I had some intense feelings/pullings several days ago when some sisters from a teaching (active/contemplative) order visited our Catholic Campus Center. There was this burning inside my chest I can't describe as the young, lively sisters told their vocation stories--not one of 'em didn't hit me somehow. What was this feeling? The next day, I suddenly had doubts like, "I can't handle the contemplative part," and "what if God asks me to leave school here early to enter the postulancy there?" So I've tried giving these to Christ, too, since I know that I need to live here & now, taking care of what He's given me at this point & enjoying His gifts at this time, letting HIM take care of my future. I intend to visit this congregation within the next month or two (& live there next summer if God leads me there), but in the mean time I don't know whether to listen to any emotions/feelings I have or ignore them & let them run their course (or do something in between). Any suggestions/comments?